At some point in your life, you’ll want to know when is the right time to start having sex. It’s not always an easy question to answer, and it’s different for different people. One of the most important things to consider in making your own decision is that your body belongs to you and to you alone, and when to become sexually active is a decision that only you can make.
One of the more confusing things to sort out when it comes to having sex is deciding what is and what isn’t sex.
What you’ve been taught in school, what your parents say, what your church says, and what your friends talk about as being sex may all be different because there are so many different kinds of sexual activity.
What’s a virgin and what does it mean to lose your virginity? Most people define virginity as not having engaged in any sexual activity. Sometimes it is tied to religious beliefs such as not having sex until they are married. Others feel they should remain virgins because they aren’t ready to start a family, or they want to wait until they are older.
Whatever reason you might choose to wait, there are still different definitions of what it means to be a virgin. For some, it means avoiding vaginal sex, while others avoid all penetrative sex (vaginal, anal, and oral), while still others define it as not having any type of sexual behaviors at all, including masturbation or exploring each other’s bodies. Regardless of how you define it or why you might choose to wait, becoming sexually active is a very personal decision that can only be made by one person – you.
If you choose to wait, there are definitely alternatives to having sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s good to communicate with him or her and discover what you each like to do and what turns you on. There’s tons of stuff that two people can do together to have fun and become closer having pizza, watching a movie at someone’s house, listening to music together, watching TV, talking on the phone and texting, playing games, working on homework together, going to a ball game, or just hanging out.
Of course, sometimes you might want to do something that makes you feel even closer to one special person. You might go on a walk and hold hands or even make out with each other in a park or someplace private (safe and not too isolated). You might want to explore each others’ bodies, go skinny dipping, or even touch each other through your clothes, all of which pose little risk for STDs, HIV, or pregnancy. If you do decide to do any of these things, remember that if anyone wants to stop at anytime, it’s okay to say so.
Here are some good links where you can go to find information that you can trust.
Sex, Etc. www.sexetc.org
Scarleteen www.scarleteen.com/
LBGTQ YouthResource www.amplifyyourvoice.org/youthresource
