Our culture places a lot of importance on romantic relationships. Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, couple’s Halloween costumes are a few examples of how our culture places a lot of focus on a very personal relationship between people. We often feel pressure; from ourselves, friends, family, media, etc.; to be in a romantic relationship. If you are like me, then you may have resisted this pressure. I find that there is another type of relationship that is much more important.
Romantic relationships are complicated. Incredible communication skills, respect, trust, and mutual power dynamics are all key. Yet, when we think about it, those same skills are necessary for all of our relationships.
When people tell me that they’ve never been in a relationship, I ask them a few questions -half jokingly and half serious. “Have you never had friends? A family?” and, most importantly, “Do you not have an open dialogue with yourself?”
Yes, I’d like to propose that you are in a relationship with yourself, and so am I and so are your friends. You are the only person that you cannot live without and will forever be tied to for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do you….well, you get the picture.
So you’ve never been in a serious romantic relationship. That in no way invalidates all of the amazing, supportive relationships you’ve had and currently have in your life. “But I want to cuddle and go on long
romantic walks on the beach and have wild, crazy sex.” And who is saying you can’t? It’s true that you only live once, but in the words of Mae West, “if you do it right, once is enough.”
Being in a romantic relationship for the sake of being in a romantic relationship is the most immature and unhealthy action that I’ve seen people around me take. Your time is a finite commodity that should not be spent lightly. Spend it on yourself for a bit while you can. Once you are in a relationship your time is
no longer fully yours. Take this time to learn more about yourself and take insane pictures with your friends and write letters with your extended family and listen to your grandmother’s story about how she met the love of her life.
You are not alone. You are okay. You are capable of great accomplishments. You are intelligent. You are a beautiful human being who is worthy of love because we all are.