Talking to your parents about sex is a huge topic, and could pose numerous challenges if your parents disapprove of you having sex or even just thinking about sex. Many young people keep their sexual activity secret from their parents for fear of being shamed or punished. However, it is certainly no secret that young people are sexually active and may be engaging in unprotected sex. In fact, 54% of Mississippi high school students say they have ever had sex, and 39% say they did not use a condom the last time they had sex. So what are youth to do if they don’t feel comfortable talking to their parents about sex, but want to be safe and protect themselves from an unplanned pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease (STD)? We can seek contraceptives and testing services at our local county health department clinic, where such services are confidential and kept secret from your parents. Fortunately, there are regulations in place at county health departments that protect the privacy of all young people, but there are some circumstances that would require healthcare providers to disclose certain information to parents.

Your health is the priority and protecting yourself against STDs and unplanned pregnancy should not be
forgotten about. The good news is that in most states, including in Mississippi, once you turn 13 you can get tested for STDs without parental notification. County health departments in Mississippi, which provide testing and contraceptive services, are required by law to protect the rights and privacy of all its patients, including services provided to young people. If the health department clinics are not your first choice for testing and educational resources, understand that there may be other healthcare providers and clinics
in your area that may better assist you with your needs. For some youth this may not be ideal, especially if the clinic does not offer free testing, contraceptive services, and education. Be aware that if you use your parent’s insurance at these clinics, your parents will be billed and notified of the reason for such charges. This is certainly not the way you want to tell your parents that you are having sex. However, county health departments provide testing, contraceptive services, and education at free or reduced prices, and don’t
require your parent’s insurance to seek the care you need there, meaning your parents will never be billed and notified of the services you receive.

You should always speak with your healthcare provider one-on-one and ask what type of privacy they can offer you. You can also ask what type of questions they are willing to answer about sex. Providers are the experts and are willing and ready to provide you with these services without breeching your privacy. Although these services and counseling are available to you, understand that there are certain circumstances where healthcare providers may be required by law to disclose your personal information to your parents. Some situations that would warrant this type of disclosure are if the provider suspects rape, relationship violence, or anything that could be potentially life threatening. This is why having a conversation with your provider about what type of privacy they can offer you is extremely important, and know that it is important to share with your parents or providers if your life is being threatened in any way.

Although locating a nearby clinic can be challenging for those living in rural areas or medically under-served areas, it doesn’t have to be that way. Fortunately, www.factnotfiction.com/clinic-finder is available to assist you with your search for sexuality information services, and is a great resource for locating clinics in your area. Also, please remember that schools sometimes offer sexual health services, and can provide
you with resources and education you need to protect you from STDs and unplanned pregnancy. Your health above all should be your top priority, and speaking up and seeking care will help you optimize your health than not saying anything at all.

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When it comes to relationships, communication is key. However, we sometimes allow this communication to stop when it comes to sex – leaving too much room for unanswered questions and unvoiced concerns. From consent to contraceptive options to sexually transmitted infection (STI) prevention, communication plays a vital role in maintaining our sexual health. Conversations about protecting ourselves can get lost in the heat of the moment or shied away from because of embarrassment or fear of a negative reaction from our partner. No matter our reasoning for avoiding these necessary conversations, it’s time that we build that bridge.

Talking about STIs is never fun, but it is absolutely critical if we want to have healthy sexual relationships. It’s never too late to talk to your partner about this important issue. Whether you’ve been dating for months, have been sexually involved for years, or are just now starting to talk about sex, your partner’s STI status is relevant to your relationship and personal health. You might be wondering: How am I supposed to ask my partner about their sexual history? How do I ask them to get tested for STIs without coming off as pushy or untrustworthy? These are tough questions to face, but when we break them down, they become much easier to manage.

The first aspect in ensuring that our partners are STI-free is knowing and understanding their sexual history: their previous partners, their knowledge of their past partners’ histories, and types of contraceptives that they may or may not have used. Your partner may be reluctant to share their past with you. They may be embarrassed about certain aspects of their sexual history, but it’s important to remind them that you’re asking tough questions to make sure that you’re both healthy and ready to engage in sexual activity. If your partner is unsure of any of their previous partners’ STI statuses, then they have no way of knowing if they have contracted an infection! Remember: condoms and dental dams are the only contraceptive methods that can reduce your risk of contracting an STI, and neither are 100% effective! So, regardless of the contraceptives that they have used in the past, there is still a chance that they are not STI-free if they are unsure of the status of their previous partners.

At this point in your conversation, you may have discovered that your partner’s STI status is uncertain. To protect yourself, it’s important that your partner is tested for STIs before you begin or continue your sexual relationship. This, in my opinion, is the hardest part of the conversation, but it can be done in a way that reaches your goals and respects your partner. First, admit to your partner that you are unsure of their status. Explain to them that, although they may have no visible symptoms of an infection, there is no way for either of you to know for sure until they are tested. Next, you should ask them to go with you and get tested. You don’t have to say this in a mean or demeaning way to get your point across. You could even make it into a bonding activity by suggesting that you both could get tested together!

Wanting to ask your partner about their history and current STI status does not mean that you’re bossy or don’t trust them. In fact, worrying about your partner’s sexual health shows that you respect them enough to be concerned about their physical wellness. Having your partner get tested isn’t just about protecting
yourself; it’s about making sure that your partner is healthy and, in turn, ensuring the health of your relationship.

Don’t be scared to start the conversation! It’s never too late to be sure.

The post Being Sure: Is Your Partner Free of STIs? appeared first on Fact Not Fiction.

• If you’ve never had a check up and are sexually active
• You have taken part in unprotected oral, vaginal or anal sex
• Your partner has had sex with someone other than you
• You have unusual discharge from the penis or vagina
• You have pain when urinating
• You have pain during sex
• You have sores or blisters in the genital area
• You experience itching or irritation in your genital area

Just remember that some STIs don’t show any symptoms! Schedule a free and confidential appointment to get tested at a MS Health Department near you! www.factnotfiction.com/clinic-finder

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