So, me and my girl are planning on having sex. She’s legal age, and I’m a year underage, and I don’t have a job. She wants a child, and I want to wait until I can help support the child. Should we wait until I can get a job or just go ahead and have one since she has a job?”
No. You should not have a child until both parents are emotionally and financially stable enough to take care of it. First of all, I applaud you for being mature and responsible enough to “think it through” and seek advice before making such a life-changing decision. Based on what is generally considered legal age, and you being one year younger, I will assume you and your girlfriend are between the ages of 17-21. At this age, you should not even consider having a child, but rather focusing on learning, growing as a person, and acquiring the skills needed to take care of yourself. That includes getting an education and a job.
Having a child is very expensive. It is difficult to support a child in a home with two incomes much less with one income. I am not sure what kind of job your girlfriends has, but ask yourself if the job pays well enough to support a family of three? Even if the answer is yes, ask yourself who will support the family if your girlfriend is somehow unable to work till the baby is born or how will you support the family while she is on maternity leave? Also, are you and your girlfriend still living with parents or on your own? If you cannot take care of yourself, how can you take care of a child? Remember Murphy’s Law, “If something can go wrong, it will.” A parent must always be prepared because he or she is not just responsible for their well-being, but also the well-being of their child.
More importantly, it sounds as if you do not really want a child, but simply trying to make your girlfriend happy. If there is even the smallest amount of doubt, you should not bring a child into the world. You should talk with your girlfriend and tell her your fears and concerns. Discuss her reasons for wanting a child now as opposed to waiting. You both need to be sure raising a child is truly a situation you want to be in at such a young age. If the relationship is solid enough to even consider having children, then there will be plenty of time in the future to have children when you are both ready.
Secondly, I noticed you said “planning on have sex.” So, I will also assume you have not done it yet. Sex itself is a big step in a relationship. In addition to becoming pregnant, getting an STD is another concern. I encourage both of you to visit a healthcare provider for any questions or assistance with birth control and STD prevention. Also, I would strongly consider continued abstinence. There is nothing wrong with expressing to your significant other how much you care for her by proving that she is worth waiting for. Abstinence is the only 100% way to avoid any unwanted consequences of sex.
Lastly, you really should not be considering having children until you and your girlfriend are married. If your girlfriend is not someone you would or could marry, you should not be having children together. If you are not ready for marriage, you are definitely not ready for all the responsibilities of being a parent.
Hope this helps.